Hello World, This Is Max. Do You Care? — 42

I can’t control the disease that is inside of me.  It makes me want to crawl into a woodchucker with a hope I will be clean.

I’m in pain and mourning over my soul to the point, I don’t care if I live or die.  I just want to be free from the pain and torture my mother had a hand in.  What is it to be clean? I don’t know anymore.  I know, I am a disgrace and ashamed to my family.

Now, I have to walk alone in the world without guidance or direction. No safety net for me.  I am like a child who is lost in a store for hours hoping my parent will find me.  I am a lost soul.  I am alone.

The sunlight hurts me; it gives me nasty sunburns.  I am paler then death, my teeth needs a file and I look sick.  My mental anguish is taking a toll on me and I don’t know what to do.

The werewolves trying their best to comfort me, but it seem so wrong.  The werewolves are not part of my race, so why do they care about me?  My family abandon me as if I was old nasty underwear, so why this race wants me to feel at home? What is their motive?

At night, my body shakes as if I have the dead man’s jumps.  The taste of blood haunts my soul, giving me a need for it, but my childhood lessons tell me different.

The Normals are not a meal to me anymore, just a snack. The fake blood, my Uncle Bryan made doesn’t give me any satisfaction.  The fake blood is like air and not worth thinking about.

After the werewolves make a kill, they send the blood of their prey to me.  It’s like nasty disgusting medicine which will help me to survive.

My think about Boyce so much, hoping he was here.  I wonder if he is thinking about me.  I don’t know.

When I look at myself in the mirror, I see a monster that is hideous and disgusting. It makes me so depress.

Why am I living? What am I living for? How do I survive my fate? I don’t know. As I finish this post, there is a girl outside of my window with a smile. I smile back. She’s my new friend. I can feel my heart beating again as if I was alive.  She makes a funny face as I’m typing my post.  A beautiful soul with the looks to match, but she is as disease as me.

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